Building Capacity for Your Dreams
How to identify your edges, widen your capacity, hold more without doing more, and expand smart.
So much of the work that I do on my evolutionary journey and with my clients is about capacity building.
You can think about your capacity as your container to hold your life—And I mean the full spectrum of life…your deaths, your relationships, your career, your wealth, your medicine, your magic, your creative projects, children, your dreams, your emotions, your thoughts and beliefs, consciousness, your expression, etc.
So many of us have big, bold, beautiful, expansive dreams that we wish to weave into the world.
And maybe you look at those dreams and think that they are inevitable and not so big at all.
Or maybe just the feeling of one of your dreams sends you into a spiral of fear, insecurity, doubt, and contraction.
This is a reflection of your current capacity.
I want you to pause right now and write down three dreams you have for your life right now.
The first dream I want you to write down is something that feels easy. Maybe it’s a creative project you are working on now and you know it’s just a matter of time before the dream is materialize.
I’ll share first:
To open my private Soul Tattoo studio in my new neighbourhood of Topanga Canyon before the year is complete. The ultimate vision is to have this materialized by July, but for many reasons, that would take some Miracle Energy (more on this in another share, but I will be attuning to Miracle Energy to speed up this process). But overall this dream feels within my comfort zone and current capacity, so I don't need to stretch myself to hold it.
With the second dream you write down, I want you to feel some stretching in this. Meaning it feels just outside your comfort zone. Maybe this is a dream you’ve been holding for a long time but there are still some fears or contractive feelings that arise when you feel into it.
Mine:
To sign my next book with Hay House this summer. I broke up with my former publisher last fall (let me know if you guys want to hear the weaving around this, it was such a big lesson/pivot for me) and Hay House landed strongly in my heart and vision after my agent brought it forth. It feels so good and right, but I still have some nervous “ahh” moments when I think about it. It energetically still feels distant and beyond my current reach, whereas the energy of Dream #1 feels like it has already landed and all I have to do is step into the space. But this dream requires me to stretch myself to be able to hold it.
And with the third dream you write down, make this extremely expansive and far out. Something that feels way outside your comfort zone. Maybe this is the biggest and longest dream you’ve ever had, or maybe it just popped in from Divine Destiny asking you to claim it, but it feels scary and intense. Maybe you even feel shame or embarrassment to write it down. All of this is good.
Mine is:
To have a show on Gaia TV where I can teach aligned and open people without essence limiting production and too much creative control outside of my own. This came in earlier this year as a potential for me to claim and it terrifies me (part of my gift is sensing into many timelines, threads, and potential webs, and I personally claim the ones that feel true or reflect to you your potential webs as a client). As most of you know, I have done plenty of camera work in this life, so it’s not being on camera that scares me, but it’s the visibility and what is on the other side of that visibility that makes me contract. I have not yet expanded enough to hold this dream. It feels too far outside my current comfort zone and capacity.
My first dream feels light and easy. Since landing in Topanga a week ago, I have already had downloads and tips from random people showing me that this dream is right around the corner and can happen with ease. I feel relaxed about it and really excited. I don’t need to stretch my capacity to hold this, as my capacity is already a match. I know this by the way my nervous system responds to the physical, mental, emotional, and energetic work required to bring this dream into form.
With the second dream, I feel I have met my current edge. My capacity needs to stretch a bit to match this vision as I do not feel as relaxed and chill as with dream #1. We will be submitting my book to Hay House hopefully by the end of June (submissions have been closed for the Spring because THEY are at capacity, which actually gives ME more time to build my capacity to match this dream). When I tune into this dream energetically, I feel and see the version of self who matches this dream, but I don’t feel that I am fully integrated with her yet. There are still some deaths to work through to widen my capacity to hold this vision and fully birth this book with this publisher. This book is so much bigger, more authentic, and bolder than my first, and has already taken me through so many deaths to align with its frequency and all who can truly support it reaching as many people as it is meant to. Because I am holding this vision steady and working towards it, responding to the energy of creation as it flows through me, the deaths will continue to naturally reveal themselves and I will walk through the thresholds as I normally do. Since I still feel the inevitability of this dream, I know I can handle it and it’s only a matter of time, but I have to more actively work on my capacity building than with the first dream.
With the third dream, when I think of stepping into this reality, I feel myself wanting to run and hide. My nervous system has an immediate response. This is because my capacity simply cannot show up for this dream at this time. It is not because I don’t desire it, actually my soul deeply does (my ego just does not at this time, lol), but I have a lot more capacity-building to do before this dream can materialize. And it may take years. Whereas dreams one and two will probably materialize in the next 6 months or less. When there is this much contraction and “far away-ness” between you and a dream, there is just a lot more threshold work to do before you can hold it. Meaning more to let go of, things to let die, and change to walk through. I know I would need to fully let go of my fear of persecution and my hanging on to all the projections and daggers I have received in the past to be able to show up with trust and confidence and pleasure for this dream. I know that I would have to change my lifestyle and create a lot more time, space, and foundational rooting to be able to energetically hold a much bigger audience. I would need a lot more community and family support. And I know that I would have to fully clear any body image/beauty insecurities I may have to be seen on a larger scale.
Whatever visions we are wanting to materialize must match our current capacity, or we must choose to widen that capacity to match them.
As someone who expands quickly, births a lot, moves through a million and one deaths a season and has many big dreams, I am going to share with you some ways you can focus on building your capacity to hold the visions you have for your life.
Physical Capacity -
When wanting to hold more life we actually have to be strong enough to carry it. When I was living in Santa Fe I had horrible issues with my lungs that I thought would never go away (turns out leaving the desert was all I needed, which I expected, but it was just the medicine I needed to expand my capacity to hold more life for this next chapter). To be able to simply breathe in enough air, I had to focus on my lung capacity in a way I never had. I’ve been studying and practicing breathwork since 2017, but I suddenly found myself having to show up for this practice daily just to be able to walk up my stairs or get through the day without coughing up a lung. Eventually, I started running to build even more capacity for my breath. The breath is a MAJOR tool for our expansion as the lungs draw in our first breath and exhale our last, making the lungs the threshold space for our transformation. The deeper and fuller we can breathe, the more life we can take in, and the more grief we can process to make space for that life. So I spent a year purging from my lungs to create space for new life, which led to me strengthening my heart through doing more cardio and then strengthening my body through weight lifting. You should know, I am your classic Taurus and I thought I was allergic to traditional forms of exercise, but when I saw how much it widened my ability to hold and move more life force, I became devoted.
Wherever you carry weakness in your body will need to be addressed when moving through your expansion. Have you ever had an old injury surface or even a new injury come up when going through big life shifts? That’s because our body is needing our attention to grow our physical capacity. Our physical capacity not only relates to how much we can hold but also our capacity for boundaries, containment of our feminine process, and more. We can not bypass the body when focusing on our creative and spiritual growth for it is the body that allows us to hold the material reality we are dreaming up!
Emotional Capacity -
If we do not have the emotional capacity to be with our grief, our sadness, or our pain, we will not have the capacity to hold more joy or pleasure as we weave our dreams. Many humans(consciously and unconsciously) resist their expansion because they are resisting their contraction, meaning they are not allowing themselves to feel the depth that is being asked of them to create space for new life. Think of your body like a garden. Each day life brings you new seeds of potential, you have to clear the soil to make room for these seeds, but also birds come and eat some of your seeds, rains come and demolish your sprouting seedlings, the wind blows everything about and makes a mess, and so on...you get the idea. Life happens. But without a proper drainage system, without enough consistent watering, and without necessary weeding to create space around the plants you really want to thrive, nothing can survive. You must cultivate space to cleanse and clear for the new life to grow.
If we are not feeling through and letting go of our stagnant emotions, we will not have space for new life. An example of this is, I have not had the capacity for new love because I still have not fully forgiven my ex-husband. And I still have some anger around another recent friendship ending that needs to be fully purged before I can have the space to trust more new life to enter. I find anger to be the most challenging emotion for me to metabolize, even though it's one of my greatest allies, tools, and medicines. Now that I am starting to settle into this big life transition, I am being more intentional about letting go and moving this anger through the body.
Emotion cannot be metabolized with the mind, it must be fully felt and moved through the body. And there are so many tools and practices that can support this! But if we are not wanting to deal with our pain and heartache, or fears and insecurities, we are actually telling the universe that we don't want to hold what we want to bring forth.
Mental Capacity -
A sharp, clear, and focused mind is a great tool on our evolutionary journey. When our mind is clear we can easily act on our intuition, make clear decisions, feel connected to our inner knowing and wisdom, and have trust in life. The problem is, we are overstimulated as a culture, taking in more information and stimulus every day than any of the previous humans/eras. This is the reason for a lot of attention and mental disorders and anxiety. Our minds just don't naturally have the capacity to hold the stimulus of the modern age. But lucky for us, our brains are like plastic, not stone, and can be stretched and molded as needed. But it requires work! We don't have to live with chronic overwhelm, brain fog, distraction, and excess stimulus, but we must devote ourselves to building mental capacity if we want to thrive as highly sensitive beings in the modern age, having full capacity to use our minds in the most efficient and optimal ways.
When it comes to mental capacity we can also throw in subconscious capacity. This has to do with our subconscious beliefs. If you don't believe that you can have your dream, that is showing you where your mental capacity is at. If your dream is to call in $100,000 this season, but you believe that making that much money is shameful, then that is showing you your mental/subconscious capacity around money. All limiting beliefs are just stories (threads) we are carrying within us and then weaving with. If you believe in scarcity, you will experience scarcity. If you believe you are not good enough for your dream, you are widening the gap between yourself and your dream. Any limiting beliefs you have that widen the gap between you and your dream need your mental capacity to be expanded to close that gap so that you can mentally hold this dream with a sound mind, discernment, knowing, truth, and clarity.
Energetic Capacity -
Our energetic capacity speaks to the more ethereal realms. If we are hiding or using our energy incorrectly for us, we will have a weak and dim auric field. It is the aura that actually can magnetize our dreams to us, so we want it to be big and bright! A big, bright aura that takes up a lot of energetic space can hold a lot of energy, which is required to hold a dream. This isn't about being big and bold and flashy necessarily, but it does mean speaking your truth, shining your authenticity, moving in energetic alignment (making choices from your soul), being clear with your energy, not being afraid to be seen, and strengthening your energetic boundaries. All of this matters greatly.
We can tell what our energetic capacity is simply by tuning in with our own auric field, energy centers, and even how we feel energetically (energy levels and sensitivities). If we are feeling extremely sensitive, fatigued, and not able to move or hold a lot of energy, we are at an energetic capacity. But there are so many ways we can strengthen our auras and build energetic capacity!
Hitting any capacity, whether energetically or physically, does not need a label, or diagnosis, nor does it mean you can't pursue your dream. It just needs your attention and intention! The first step is to check in and get clarity on where you are needing to widen your capacity and place your attention. When I meet an edge, when I feel myself at capacity as I pursue a dream, I will check in with all of the previous containers:
Physical:
How is my body? Am I physically healthy and strong enough for this? Where am I feeling weak or physically depleted? What is my body telling me? What is my body calling for to expand to this next level of creative capacity?
Oftentimes a very specific plant ally as well as an exercise will come through to support me in this realm. Sometimes what will come through is that I need more sleep in this season or to spend more time grounding with the earth. Sometimes I may need to change my diet and feed myself in a different way to accommodate my needs as my capacity expands.
Emotional:
How is my heart? Am I feeling things fully and letting go? Do I still have some residual anger or grief that needs attention before I step into a new reality? Am I overwhelmed because I am not giving myself the emotional support that I need? Do I need more nurturing in my life to step into this next level of creative capacity? How can I call this in?
Most often here in my practice, I am needing to move deeper emotions or need deeper emotional support. I rarely allow people to support me as I have had to be extremely independent my whole life to survive. I actually excel at moving through this material realm on my own. I just moved again solo, did everything from pack up my two-story house and studio, book movers, sell furniture, transport my cat Loretta in a car for a week, find my home in the final hour, and will eventually unpack all alone when the movers deliver my belongings, all while leading tattoo immersions, doing photoshoots, seeing clients, running businesses, etc. I didn't have very many people check in on me during this process, but I also did not reach out for any support because it was outside of my comfort zone and I didn't believe anyone could help me. But it’s a lot, and I know my next level of big expansion will not allow this pattern so extreme self-sufficiency to continue if I want to hold more. So my heart needs more community support, which is the main reason why I moved back to CA, to meet my deeper emotional needs that feel quite neglected. I need more love and I need to widen my capacity to receive it and believe that people can support me without condition. My work is to widen my capacity to receive, which requires deeper heart opening, greater trust, and more vulnerability.
Mental:
How is my mind? Am I experiencing information overload? Is my brain at capacity and unable to problem solve and think through the materialization of my dream? Am I experiencing brain fog or lack of clarity that is preventing me from moving forward? Am I experiencing anxiety that needs to be addressed? Is my mind trying to process my big emotions and using all my mental energy? Do I have the mental energy to contain my vision and bring it into form? What does my mind need to have the clarity and peace of mind needed to birth my dream?
Personally, if I am experiencing overwhelm or anxiety, that is a clear sign I have reached my mental capacity. Typically in these spaces, to build greater mental capacity, I need to empty out my brain. I have a really strong mind and can hold a lot mentally. I have structured three businesses, have a wildly good memory, can typically hold months of dates, appointments, ideas, every astrology chart of every person I know in my mind, and write endlessly as my mind is always processing downloads with claircognizance as my dominant psychic channel. But I noticed during this recent move my brain capacity really shifted. I started to have more brain fog and forget things! Which is very uncommon for me! I hated it at first because it was inconvenient, but I understood it. I reached my capacity mentally, which means I had to go back and automate a lot of my business systems in order to relieve my mind of some of the pressure and capacity it takes to contain three businesses. My big task this summer that I have just begun is to do it with all three businesses so that my mind can rest without the fear of something slipping through the cracks. This is going to free up SO much capacity for my writing and teaching and I cannot wait.
Energetic:
This is where we go a bit deeper. Of course, all these layers are connected but we can zoom in directly to the energetic body and tune into where energy is stagnant or leaky, where we can resource energy from to support other areas of our healing, and overall just give us more clues around what needs to be shifted to expand our capacity. This is where we can identify any threads of karma that are ready to be cut in order to free up our energy to weave our dreams with. There are many techniques you can use to tune into your energetic frequency such as a body/energy scan using your psychic senses to receive information. Understanding how you read energy is key for this. You may experience vibrational information energetically, physically, emotionally, with your inner vision, through sound/words, a direct download through your knowing, through touching your body, psychic taste, smell, and so on. If you are an energy practitioner or a reader you are most likely very attuned to when your energy is off and you’ve reached your energetic capacity.
We also need to think about our energetic capacity as the ability to hold energy. A 2-hour online workshop with 15 people is a LOT less energy to hold than a 9-month deep mentorship container with 3 people. A 1:1 private client is a lot less energy to hold than a small group for a retreat. A little local tattoo studio is a lot less energy to hold (Dream #1) than an online streaming series that can reach thousands and thousands of people and open a portal for much new life and expansion (Dream #3). Do you see what I am getting at here? If your dream is not materializing, you might want to reflect on your energetic capacity, which can also be worked through by working on your physical, mental, and emotional bodies. I have a beautiful meditation that can support this which I will share soon, either here or on my podcast.
Dream building isn’t easy work. It’s not "think positive", visualize your dream, and then open your palms to receive. It’s alchemy work. It requires us to transform, transmute, and continue to go deeper and deeper still to resurrect the parts of self that are aligned with our truest soul visions.
This is why I have found it triggering in the past when people in my life have projected jealousy, envy, and resentment around my success as a creator/healing artist. Because nothing has come easy to me, other than the fact I am willing to dive deep and do this capacity building work. My ambition and even my courage feels easy most days. But this is my work. This is my gift, my medicine, and what I teach–ALCHEMY.
It takes grit. It takes being intimate with death. It takes knowing yourself so deeply and honoring your truth and vision. It takes risks. It takes getting your heart smashed into a million pieces from time to time so its capacity can widen. It takes hitting rock bottom so that you can take the time to find your medicine there. It may take losing everything. It takes a willingness to not know, to dive into the mystery again and again, and swim to your depths while holding strong to the light of your soul.
This is how we build capacity.
You can't sustain making more money by working more hours that deplete you.
You can't hold more love in your life by pushing people to love you.
You can't get that dream job by frustratingly proving to the company why you should be hired...because deep down you don't even believe it yourself.
These are all acts of force, and are not smart ways to expand your capacity, because they deplete your life force by acting out of alignment with your soul, and instead in alignment with your wounded ego.
Capacity building is actually about UNDOING, not doing more. To unravel, fall apart, let go, be more vulnerable, change your mind, cry a million tears for the old you, fall into the mystery, do nothing but rest, heal, and sit in discomfort as you stretch, and naturally discover your truth, wisdom, and magic along the way.
Your dreams want you just as much as you want them.
Don't let your capacity and fear limit you from expanding to greet your dreams. Learn to hold more, and the universe will so beautifully and effortlessly hold you in return.
xo,
Ash
Free tools for capacity building:
Your breath. Consistent breathwork heals your nervous system, clear stuck energy and emotions, and expands your capacity to breathe in more life.
Your heart. Opening your heart and feeling through your emotions creates space for you to hold more.
Stillness and spaciousness. Give your mind a break with meditation, laying on the earth and participating the art of nothing, cultivate quiet time to simply be, go on a walk when overwhelmed, or simply take a nap.
Courage. Practice stepping outside of your comfort zone from time to time and trying new things. It’s good for you!
Dancing. Movement helps our body clear energy, cultivate more flow in life, feel into taking up more space, and strengthens the aura.
Share your dreams in the comments any what capacities you are being met with as you explore them!
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing these tools for capacity building
This is so wonderful