The other week, I had a new client come to see me for a tattoo ceremony. She was young, successful, financially secure, smart, and beautiful. She traveled all around the world and had loving intimate relationships…what social media would totally depict as a dream life.
But she carried a strong masculine energy that led her to hold a lot more responsibility than she needed to in life, a weight that kept her in expired life loops she was so ready to break free from. You know, those daily routines where you get up, have coffee, go to work, make dinner, binge-watch TV, and go to bed that fills most humans’ daily lives. While everything in her life was stable and great on paper, she was disconnected from her creativity/fertility to evolve in the way she desired to on a soul level. She wanted more, but this required a complete restructuring and refertilizing of the foundation of her life.
As we followed the energy of the ceremony, we got to a place where we could dissect her fears. She told me that she almost always brings the worst-case scenario to her mind when she thinks about making changes towards her heart’s true desires, but is afraid of saying those scenarios out loud. I refelcted to her how this is a trauma response that is fed by our fears and desire for safety and control. When we don’t trust in life (creation), we will imagine every worst-case scenario (death) so that our minds can attempt to find safety and feel in control if something were to go “wrong.” It is a neural pattern adopted when we don’t feel safe in life or feel a deep responsibility for creating safety for others because this world is unsafe for them. As a result, we try to control every outcome with our minds to ensure safety by figuring our way through every situation. If we can survive in our imaginations, maybe we can survive in real life, right? But how can we thrive if we are constantly using our mental capacity to try to survive? In this piece I am going to unpack it through a shamic story weaving experience I had with aligators and my biggest fears.
