Rooted in Grace

Letting Go of the Addiction to Fixing and Trusting the Soft Path of Feminine Transformation

Something I think about a lot as I witness the rise of modern spiritual healing is how much our collective programming conditions humans to believe that healing must be painful, psychedelic, or intense for it to "work." If you are not on your bathroom floor scream-crying, traveling between dimensions in a forced altered state, or puking your guts out in a plant medicine ceremony, are you even healing?

I see this as a reflection of our collective addiction to suffering, pain, and self-punishment. An addiction to fixing, ordering, and controlling that moves the feminine purity and her powerful nature to the back burner, where she is still crucified for not being enough.

There remains a patriarchal aggression that often prevents the foundational healing process and its integration that anchors deep peace, trust, and love within people. It is a level of healing that only befriending the mystery (the feminine) can teach you. And it often requires some deep excavation of the mind to remember this mystery that is simply love disguised as your fear.

One example of this is how many people on their spiritual paths will start their journeys by going down the route of blasting through trauma and spiritual awakening in plant medicine ceremonies only to continue on with their lives like nothing happened once the ceremonial hearth has been put to rest. They will continue to choose the same patterns, beliefs, and actions. They will chase the relief of the external healing agent bypassing the claiming of their own medicine. They will still cycle through the same process of suffering and self-inflicted pain that only continues to be fed by this deeply imprinted addiction to bleaching the past, forgetting that it is in the roots that lies the most powerful medicine to swallow. The kind of medicine that will truly set you free.

You can have the most profound spiritual awakening of your life sitting at the base of a tree. You can have a full-body ancestral trauma release in the embrace of someone who loves you. You can heal layers and layers of timelines and quantum leap in a gentle hypnosis journey. You can let go of patterns held within your body with a single declaration expressed through your powerful voice. I know this is true because I have experienced and witnessed it over and over and over in this deeply spiritual and wild love affair with life. I've done deep shamanic medicine work in ceremony and traveled across the oceans to visit a tree that changed my life more than anything else has. I've purged my guts out with frog venom coursing through my system, and I healed generations of suffering in a single dream while I was gently and peacefully asleep. I've done the cleanses, ancient protocols, and kundalini activations, and I also just let myself remember my desires by tending to the garden of my body through sensual connection, which changed the trajectory of my entire life. I’ve done it all out of curiosity, and I don’t share many of these experiences with the world as they are so intimate, but I always come back to communion with the lands that call to me, remembering my own medicine and wisdom, and being receptive to my own soul’s light so healing can gracefully and naturally occur with ease. This is how you keep the healing flame lit after the hearth of ceremony has been put to rest.

For the past 12 years of facilitating and receiving deep medicine work, I have learned that the gentler, the more powerful and profound. The more soft, the more your natural medicine can express itself. The more receptive you are to your own divinity, the less you have to go searching in the jungle for a medicine that will weed whack your trauma away. The more you let your soul guide you on your healing journey, the less you will seek anything outside of you to give you the recipe for your becoming.

You can choose for your healing to be soft, but you have to actually choose it, believe it, allow it, and trust it. This is the key.